Family Isn't It About Distance?

Family Isn't It About Distance?

This past week I was very excited that my cousin Brady was coming home from his mission in North Carolina. I was going to try and go see him on his layover at the Salt Lake City Airport, but those plans fell through when the mission home would not let me talk(on his last day in the field...give me a break) to him arrange plans. This was still okay because Maggie and I were planning on heading south Saturday after I got out of class around five. We would be there in time for his homecoming Sunday.

I was extremely excited for his homecoming. Brady is the first of my cousins to serve a mission. I have known him his whole life and feel like he and his siblings are the closest things I will ever have to little brothers and sister. I have been really proud of him for the past two years, and enjoyed reliving my glory days in Oakland through his letters and emails.

Maggie picked me up after my scenario training at the academy. We then headed south to St George. The drive was long, but Maggie and I had a good conversation. We listened to a lot Jimmy Buffett, Grateful Dead, and a little AC/DC when I was getting sleepy (Back in Black always wakes me up). We went to see my cousin's now finished and open salon. We then went home and celebrated Judy's birthday. We also learned that somehow Sparky has learned how to work my mother as well as I do, and is now able to sleep inside as long as he stays on his bed. Which he does...most of the time.

Sunday morning Maggie got up and went for her run, while I got up and watched the NFL pre-game show on ESPN (ahhh cable...just hook it to my vein). I was nervous about the day to say the least. My cousin and her boyfriend were coming, and her boyfriend is far from welcome by her mother and other members of my extended family. I was nervous this would erupt in grand show of Sims Family melt down. Once ready Maggie and I left to pick up my cousin Ceira who recently moved home to St George. It was so good to see her again. She has become such a wonderful young woman and I know how proud her late father and grandmother would be of her. After I took us to the wrong church on Snow Canyon Parkway in Ivins (seriously can't we just build bigger churches instead of ones on every street corner?) we arrived at Brady's homecoming.

It was so good to see some of my family and friends I have not seen in long time. Uncle John's Family, Steve and Jill, the Madsens and Sprages. It was also great to see my cousins who I have not seen in several months. Of course it was great to see Brady home from to two years of service. I was just a little annoyed that he came home skinny however and I came home heavier even after getting sick. His talk was excellent he has really improved over the two years. His little brother was one of the youth speakers and he also did an excellent job. I still had a few notes for both them(mostly about eye contact or building the emotion...there are so few us who can wow a room like Obama), but I was overall very impressed.

*NOTE* AT THIS POINT DIRTY LAUNDRY MAY BE AIRED, EMOTIONS WILL BE WRITTEN AND I MAY SOUND LESS JOYFUL THAN NORMAL. THIS (AND BUBBLE WRAP) WILL BE MY THERAPY. IF THIS CONCERNS YOU DO NOT READ ON, BUT WHO ARE WE KIDDING WITH AN INTRO LIKE THAT HOW COULD YOU NOT?

I went to say hello to my great aunts and my Aunt Becky only to met with a somewhat icy reception. Becky refused to acknowledge my existence. Her husband was warm and still offered me his hand once again validating my belief that he was a "good guy." This hostility mostly stems from my mother's decision to to allow Sariann's (Becky's daughter) boyfriend Mike back into our lives after he has made several stupid choices. This following in the grand tradition of those who made bad choices in our family, but were still welcome at every holiday or family event with open arms Sariann's companion will not be afforded the same grace.

Once back at the Ences' home I was good. I hung out with my cousins and old family friends. The great aunts however decided to let it out on my mother, and tell her what a terrible daughter she was to my now departed grandmother. This after my mother was trying to get to the bottom of why this year they decided to not exchange gifts with the rest of the family. I was to say the least pissed at this. What really annoyed me however was the way they made Maggie feel. Maggie has totally stayed above the fray with all of my family drama, she stayed neutral and loving to everyone in the family. During the fights after grandma's death she would be the first to leave the room and comfort the crying daughter which ever one the other two were mad at. She only got see the remnants of how close my family once was, and this was the first time she felt pushed her aside and made to feel unwanted. This made me mad. I can handle someone being mad at me, and my mother is more able to cause ire in someone, but Maggie had done nothing wrong.

I am not sure where to go from here. I felt awful that the whole drive home, and I never thought that Salt Lake's freezing cold temperatures could feel warm compared to cold hearts in St George. I didn't feel clean until I was in smoggy air of Salt Lake. Its hard to feel this way about the Aunt who taught me to foxtrot, the one who gave me my first haircut, or shares my love for Sinatra and mob movies, but I do. These were the people who hugged my when my father died, and came to my school plays, and now family almost makes the Corleons look functional ("Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.") I recently read an article that was in The Daily Spectrum years ago written by Mary Phoenix and Clark Hafen that talked about the Pymm family and how close we were, and how we were always there to support one another, my how times have changed. It is truly a testament to how strong my grandmother really was to be able to reign in all of the insanity the boiled under the surface. I am about to enter a dangerous and dirty profession, and feel terrified that if the worst should happen, my family would not be there for my loved ones.

"Don't ever go against the family Fredo."

The only hope I see is that all of the cousins in my generation get along really well. To explain it in Star Wars we would be the Luke and Leia to the Anakin and emperor( I know they weren't really related, but there was family feel to it). We all love each other, we are proud of each other's accomplishments, and enjoy seeing each other, and I believe this will continue in spite of the ice formed between the previous generations.