Winter Reads

I usually wait to closer to the holiday to publish my lists of must watch holiday movies etc. However, since this is a list of books (also short stories) and books are harder to find the time for than a movie. I decided to impart some of my favorite December books to you now.

In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash
by Jean Sheppard

This is not strictly speaking a Christmas book, but it is the birthplace of a universally loved Christmas tradition. The Christmas Story movie about Ralphie Parker's wanton lust for a Red Ryder BB gun are based on the short story found in this book. The classic film is narrated by the author Jean Sheppard who also has a cameo as the guy in line to see Santa who tells Ralph to go the back of the line.

A Christmas Carol
by Charles Dickens

One Christmas while Maggie and I were long distance I read this book to her each night at bed time. I am terrible on the phone and not much of a communicator in general, so as she went to sleep each night I would reach a section from the most classic of all Christmas tales. Of the many adaptations of this story none have ever captured the language Charles Dickens crafted. The section describing "the chain that each of us forge..that began with a single link of gold of silver" is one of my favorite passages in all of literature.

A Newberry Christmas
by Various Authors

This is a collection of 14 short stories that feature authors who have won the Newberry Medal. E.L. Knongsburg's "Eliot Miles Does Not Wish You a Merry Christmas Because..." is one of the funniest stories I have ever read. "A Full House" by Madeline L'Engle is one of those stories that at any other time of year would seem dipped in sugar to the point vomit, but during December we all seem to be immune from Artistic Diabetes.

The Gift of the Magi
by O. Henry

A classic Christmas tale that has been retold in film and television countless times. It seems to be the story that every English teacher uses to explain irony, but don't let that detour you from reading it.

Hershel and Hanukkah Goblins
by Eric A. Kimmel

Maggie gave me this book one year for Hanukkah and it has become one of my favorite holiday traditions. If you're looking for a way to incorporate other cultural and religious beliefs and traditions into your own this book is an excellent way to do so. Also, good story telling knows no cultural boundary.

Hanukkah Haiku
by Harriet Zeifert

An excellent collection of poetry about Hanukkah done in Haiku form. It teaches about the holiday in short powerful verses that both children and adults can enjoy

A Family Tradition
by Caroline Kennedy
This is an anthology compiled by Caroline Kennedy, the daughter of President Kennedy, consisting of stories, poems and songs that her family made part of their Christmas tradition. Caroline's mother Jackie worked for several years as a book editor and Caroline discusses her mother strong belief on reading in the home and making favorite stories a part of holiday tradition. A Family Tradition is filled with anecdotes and wonderful treasures that America's first family have used for years. It also contains some wonderful stories that have become part of my family tradition.

52 Things I am Thankful For

I think there is some unwritten (or written on someone's blog) rule that you most post a list of stuff you are thankful for at the end of November. Here is mine

1. Soup-There are few things more comforting than soup.
2. Skiing-It makes the dreary winter months not only bearable, but rad.
3. The Bayou's Gumbo- This could fall under soup, but its also a nice way to say I love The Bayou.
4. Brooks Brothers- The epitome of men's fashion. I never feel better than when I don my Brooks Brothers camel hair top coat and smart BB suit. Thanks for making me feel timeless.
5. The Beatles- I have waxed poetically about them before, nuff said.
6. Hats-There is a rarer feeling in the world than the one of sophistication that accompanies a well worn hat.
7. Perfect Shaves-When you press the sharp steel of a straight razor to your neck and with the up most skill remove the offending whiskers, that have have been softened by soap applied by a 100% pure badger hair brush, apply Witch Hazel, Pinaud Clubman Bay Rum and talcum powder you have started your morning in the best fashion possible.
8. Bicycles-They get me from point A to point B and let me enjoy the commute to work.
9. Naps-Be they 20 minute "power naps" or a long Sunday afternoon nap in front of a baseball game life would suck with out them.
10. Salt Lake City After a Storm- Salt Lake has an eerie silence fall upon it after a snowstorm that is accompanied by an strange glow from the light caught in limb between the fresh snow and the castover sky. After a rainstorm the city smells fresh and renewed.
11. Sturdy Children- Maggie likes to force me to play with children. I am gripped with fear that I will break them, so when then they are built tough and stout with plenty of baby chub to protect them from my clumsiness it is comforting.
12. Snow Days- Getting sent home from work, eating soup, and watching Netflix Instant Cue is wonderful.
13. Fiber- Picture a world with out. Its not pretty.
14. Yoga- Specifically, that Maggie does it, and that she has given up on getting me to practice it.
15. Hot Dogs- Really, all link sausages could fit here(that's what she said), and do not get Freudian on me.
16. Este Pizza- My ritual of going to Este grabbing a slice and a cold beverage of my choice on Friday's afternoon gives the end of the week a higher purpose.
17. Martin Scorsese- I could watch his films with out dialogue, and be entranced.
18. AMC's Sunday Night- Breaking Bad, Mad Men and The Walking Dead make Work Week Eve a little be easier to swallow.
19. Mad Men- It gets it's own because it is just that DAMN good.
20. Cartoons that are Funnier to Adults-This includes Family Guy, South Park and The Simpsons which are cartoons geared towards specifically for adults, but it also includes Phineas and Ferb, Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, Rocky and Bullwinkle and Underdog cartoons built for kids yet funnier for adults.
20. The Ducks in Fairmont Park- I like walking over and feeding them the heels from my bread loaves.
21. National Parks- One of the greatest acts of our socialist government. The stealing of land from private sector development and redistributing it so everyone could enjoy it; thanks comrad Roosevelt.
22. John Stewart-He gives me hope for humanity.
23. Well Made Boots- I like my boots to be comfortable, warm and sturdy. Rockport you do the job nicely.
24. People Who Make me Glad I am Not Them- Shadenfreude. People who seem vapid and dumb enough that no matter how depressed I get I can read their blog, look at their favorite TV show, or anything else my pretentious self looks down upon and mutter "There, but for the grace of God go I."*
25. Smart Phones- They have changed the way I stand in line, go to the bathroom and stand in line for the bathroom.
26. English Isles-My Anglophile is a source of great joy.
27. St. Patrick's Day- It is my favorite holiday and the accompanying feast is my favorite meal of the entire year. Sorry Thanksgiving.
28. The Oscars- I like award shows and being the movie buff that I am this is my favorite. Also, throwing a party with food to match the Best Picture Nominees is both a feat and a challenge.
29. Cheese- I hated picnics till I found out you were the perfect picnic food.
30. Twilight Concert Series- This has nothing to do with the abominable books. It is a free concert series Salt Lake City puts on every year. It is one of the highlights of my summer.
31. That the 10 Year Reunion is Over- That was a lot of work.
32. BBQs- This needs no explanation.
33. Sports Talk- Talking about sports is one of the best conversations you can have.
34. Cooking- It is not just survival, it is art you eat.
35. My Camera- Other than cooking this is the only art form that does not require me to draw. I like that.
36. The Internet- Wow, my job would be dull with out it.
37. Government- Yeah, what of it? Why don't you go teabag about it?
38. Taxes- Now I'm just provoking.
39. Liberal Mormons- It is not an oxymoron, it is just rare.
40. Ernest Hemingway- Having read him and being able to list him as my favorite author gives me a +1 Pretension Factor.
41. Nalgene Bottles- Good for Earth and good for you (unless you got the ones that cause cancer).
42. Our Apartment- Excellent landlords, nice use of space and plenty of personality.
43. Dogs- I just like 'em.
44. Chuck Klosterman- As a wise Keller once said "Reading him separates us from the animals."
45. Thank You Notes- I am glad I was brought up knowing how to write and when to write an appropriate note.
46. Toys R Us- I still like Legos.
47. Cuff links- They give me a touch of class.
48. Interesting Friends- I can think of nothing worse in life than being surrounded by boring people. Thankfully, I am not.
49. People Who Call Me for Advice- It doesn't matter what it is about. I just like being considered an authority on stuff.
50. NPR- Yeah, I'm as nerdy as it gets.
51. Smells- I love when I find something that maintains it's smell years later and can instantly send me back to where that smell is from. My dad's knife sheath, a coat from my Grandmother's house or butterscotch and Old Spice that can all tie me back to someone I no longer see, but can't forget.
52. Movies I Have to Watch While Maggie is Gone- The Big Lebowski, Superbad and Citizen Kane she is just not a fan.


*I often refer to these people as the "There But For Grace of God Go I Society".

Thanksgiving Films

I was recently reading one of my favorite blogs and the writer lamented the lack of good Thanksgiving movies. She then wrote about how The Road has filled her Thanksgiving film void I have had this same dilemma and over the years found a few films that I enjoy at Thanksgiving.*

*Please note I adhere to a strict Christmas movie watching policy. This is to ensure that Thanksgiving is not totally overrun by Christmas. "No Christmas film may be watched until the night of Thanksgiving when the desserts have been eaten. Christmas films may be watched up to and through New Year's Day, but not beyond. There is an exception for Christmas films to watched on a single day during the month of July if it is in conjunction with a Christmas in July themed celebration."

An American Tale



This is one of my favorite childhood films. It tells the story of an immigrant family coming to America in search of a better life. I have always thought of Thanksgiving as the day we celebrate our own pilgrimage to America. An American Tale captures this spirit, plus leaves you singing about the lack of felines in America for days.

Pieces of April



Pieces of April is a little known indie film about a family's black sheep hosting Thanksgiving dinner. Katie Holms gives such a superb performance you forgive her for what ever she was thinking marrying Tom Cruise. Oliver Platt (who is one of those actors that should be in everything) and Patricia Clarkson both fulfill their life calling of being among THE FINEST SUPPORTING ACTORS IN THE WORLD. If you have not watched it I highly recommend adding it your November festivities.

Trains, Planes and Automobiles



A great road movie with Steve Martin and John Candy. If you have ever endured a terrible Thanksgiving travel mishap (usually involving flying US Airways. I once spent a night in Phoenix for no earthly reason) this movie will resonate. It is not cerebral, but it is a classic.

Nobody's Fool



This is the perfect melding of legendary actor given an excellent story, sharp dialogue and genuine human emotion. Resulting in Newman's final Oscar nomination. In Nobody's Fool Paul Newman's son and grandson will be visiting for Thanksgiving allowing Newman a shot at redemption. If you have not seen this before I highly recommend it.

Hannah and Her Sisters



I am a big Woody Allen fan, so it should be no surprise to see Hannah and Her Sisters listed here. Hannah and Her Sisters is a film bookended with Thanksgiving dinners and spans the entire year between. The film is about family dysfunction, neuroses (Aren't all Woody Allen films?), and the never ending search for happiness. It is one of Allen's stronger movies and would be required watching for anyone wanting to better understand Allen's films.

Alice's Restaurant



The movie is not that great. It is based on an amazing Arlo Guthrie song about people going to Alice's for Thanksgiving dinner, throwing out garbage, getting arrested for littering and thus avoiding Viet Nam. The movie could have been amazing, but it is not. I include it because you should listen to the song on Turkey Day, and maybe watch the film if you have nothing better to do.

Dutch



This movie was written by John Hughes (Breakfast Club, 16 Candles) and stars Ed O'Neil (Married with Children, Modern Family). It, like many Thanksgiving films, is a road story about Ed O'Neil trying to impress his girlfriend's son by picking him up from boarding school and driving him home for Thanksgiving. As you might have guessed they don't get along making up the bulk of the weak story. I liked it as a kid, Ed O'Neil is genuinely fun to watch in most anything and if you are involved with step parents or parents dating this film may resonate more with you than it does with me, but I liked it as a kid so it made the list.

Remember the Titans**



Because Thanksgiving is also about football. Remember the Titans also could be seen as two groups of different people coming together much the same way the Pilgrims and the Native Americans did, but that may be a stretch.

**I had originally written about Rudy, but the the Irish beat the living hell out of my Utes so they get no love on my blog for at least a week.

Elvis Costello King of Cool

By Colt

In recent years Chuck Norris has become the image the world things of when in thinks of bad ass. He has received Internet fame that is generally reserved for adult film stars and cats that can dance to a Kelly Clarkson song. Norris Facts include such tid bits of vital information as "Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the Earth down", "Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, to bad he never cries", and "If you have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you do". I will not argue with this(because Chuck Norris would kill me with Swiffer Duster), but he is THE bad ass. I submit that Elvis Costello is the Chuck Norris equivalent of cool. Other possible contenders would be George Clooney , but he was in One Fine Day which just barely lands him the silver medal; Frank Sinatra, is dead but lives on; and Don Draper\Roger Sterling who are fictional and therefore lose by default. Listed below are some of the reasons why Elvis Costello wins.

#1 Elvis Costello wrote a song so amazing that only God can hear it.
#2 Elvis Costello is haunted by the ghosts of George Harrison, John Lennon and Buddy Holly just because they want to hang with him.
#3 Elvis Costello's hat was used by Odd Job in Goldfinger.
#4 Elvis Costello's glasses are made from the windows of Superman's crashed space ship.
#5 Elvis Costello wrote the national anthem for every country that ever was.
#6 Elvis Costello won World War II with a saxophone solo.
#7 Elvis Costello wrote an entire three act opera using only one note.
#8 Elvis Costello dreams in HD.
#9 Elvis Costello is a vegetarian who can grow a Sirloin Steak from a tomato seed.
#10 Elvis Costello songs don't get downloaded they get carved in marble on your hard drive.